Serpent Speakers
by Zathara001
Summary: Arthur goes to retrieve a wayward sea monster and encounters three unusual people. AU. Crack treated seriously.


So… we all know by now that my muse works in strange and mysterious ways. This is what she gave me after seeing "Aquaman" for the second time today.

As always, all rights in this work are hereby given to DC Comics, J.K. Rowling, and/or the appropriate copyright owners.

Arthur goes to retrieve a wayward sea monster and encounters three unusual people.

Not for the first time, Arthur Curry, also called Aquaman, the King of Atlantis, envied his mother, Atlanna. She'd returned briefly to Atlantis to help smooth over his transition to the kingship before returning to the surface world - and his father, Tom - for a vacation.

Not that Atlanteans understood what a vacation was, necessarily, but it felt like every resident of all seven kingdoms - yes, even the two that were lost - had waited until she had gone to bring their concerns to him.

"It's part of being king," his mentor and vizier, Vulko, told him. "You'll have to deal with it all, sooner or later, so soonest begun, soonest done."

Arthur would be the first to admit that he hadn't trained for this aspect of kingship. Challenge for the throne and defeat the seated monarch? Easy. Defeat the Karathen monster? Done, and he had the Trident of Atlan to show for it.

Adjudicate disputes between two parties who seemed equally unreasonable and equally wrong? Not a chance.

He'd already tried telling them to flip a coin, to settle it in combat like real Atlanteans, and failing that, to head to the courts - that was, after all, what the courts were for.

But Atlantis retained at least one thing from its time before the Great Fall - a belief shared with the ancient Greeks that all citizens were equal. According to Atlantean law, that meant that all were equally able to seek redress from the king himself, not just the courts.

So Arthur found himself sitting in judgment over a dispute that he'd barely paid attention to, listening to two people argue - or rather, shout at each other.

The arrival of an equerry caused him to raise a hand to pause the argument. When neither of them seemed to notice, he took Atlan's Trident in hand and banged it once on the floor, the impact sending mild shock waves through the chamber.

"What is it?" he asked the equerry.

The young man seemed agitated - if he'd been a surface-dweller, Arthur wouldn't have been surprised to see him wringing his hands.

"The sea serpent Ceto has escaped his pen," the equerry replied. "Apparently some time ago, though no one seems to know exactly when. But -"

Arthur raised an eyebrow. "But -?"

"It's menacing a small island near the coast of the place the surface-dwellers call Morocco. Shall I assemble a squad to capture it?"

"No," Arthur decided, welcoming the chance to escape the endless babble of the court. He rose from his throne and floated toward the equerry, pausing to look over his shoulder at the two who couldn't seem to debate rationally.

"When I return, I want a summary, no more than a page, of each of your positions waiting for me."

As he swam toward the entrance to the room, he heard one of them ask the other, "What's a page, and how long is it?"

When he reached the island - he'd determined it was La Graciosa, part of the Canary Islands - Arthur expected a full-blown disaster.

Instead, Ceto floated perfectly still just far enough from the coast that his head broke the surface.

Curious, Arthur surfaced himself, floating beside the giant serpent as he took in the scene before him.

Three people - two males and one female - were on the white sand beach. One male - with hair a rather unfortunate shade of read - and the female stared at Ceto.

No, Arthur realized suddenly. They were staring at the other male, with unruly dark hair and glasses almost comically round. Glasses paced the beach, gesticulating sharply with both hands.

Arthur blinked. He had a _stick_ , of all things, in one hand, though he seemed to be careful not to actively point it at anything. And he was - hissing?

Arthur rested one hand along Ceto's body, and suddenly heard and understood.

 _\- just come through a bloody_ war! _Is it too much to ask for a quiet bloody holiday for me and my friends? Really, I ask you! Here we were, enjoying the sun and the sand and the sea, and then you had to show up to muck it all up._

Stifling a laugh, Arthur let his hand fall, then swam a bit closer to the shore. "Yo!"

Glasses paused and turned toward him, and now the stick was actively pointed at something - himself.

Holding his hands away from his body - though he still carried the Trident of Atlan - Arthur kicked, hard, and flew out of the water to land on the shore.

"I come in peace," he said.

"Carrying a bloody trident?" the redhead said. "You come in peace with a _trident_?"

"I thought I might need it to help corral Ceto," Arthur replied. "But it looks like you've managed that on your own, somehow."

"Ceto?" the female asked - and now that he was closer, Arthur could see that all three of them were young adults, probably not even out of their teens yet, if he were any judge. "Is that - well - your _pet_?"

Ceto roared, and Arthur winced at the stream of invective. He shouldn't have been surprised when Glasses flinched, too.

"He doesn't like being called a pet, Hermione," Glasses said. "He says he's from a long line of servants to the masters of the sea. And a lot of other things I shouldn't repeat."

Arthur frowned at the serpent. "If you're so proud of that, why'd you escape?"

He could only sigh at the answer he got, and Glasses burst out laughing.

"What did he say?" Hermione asked, more curious than wary, now.

Harry gasped for breath. "If he doesn't want him - Ceto - to escape, he should build a better pen."

Arthur glared at the one of Ceto's eyes he could meet and spoke the response aloud as well as telepathically. "You really shouldn't challenge me like that. Go on back home."

Ceto didn't move, and Arthur repeated the command more sternly, only to frown at Ceto's response.

He turned to Glasses. "Why can't he move?"

"Oh, right. Sorry." Glasses waved his stick in Ceto's direction. " _Finite._ "

Ceto shook himself, and with a roar, turned back toward home.

"No detours," Arthur called after him, and got tail-splashed for his trouble.

Which left him standing there facing three teenagers.

"Thanks," he said finally. "For not actually hurting him."

"Oh. Well." Glasses shrugged. "He wasn't actually evil, so it didn't seem right to hurt him."

Arthur felt his eyebrows rising. "Most people would take one look at his size and his species and assume otherwise."

"Maybe," Glasses said. "But I've met evil, and I knew he's not."

"Huh." Arthur turned to go, paused before he completed the movement. "Y'know - if you ever get shipwrecked or in some other trouble at sea, send word by any of the sea serpents, and I'll do what I can to help."

"Thanks," Glasses said, then paused. "You know, there's a lot of magic in your trident."

Arthur grinned. "I know."

He turned away from them again only to hear the redhead calling, "Wait! Who do we tell the sea serpents to contact - if we ever need you, I mean."

As he dove beneath the waves, he heard Hermione saying, "Honestly, Ron, if you bothered to pay attention to the rest of the world, you'd know. That's Aquaman."


End file.
